written by Michael McBane
It seems that everything I might do or can do is narrowed down for the past years to one thing only and even this one thing is contained in the goodness that I have known and I have known well, it is in the name of Jesus. Nothing else has form, I seem to be on a path that is so narrow that it has no form unless it begins and ends in Him. For me to begin to suggest that I think anything is outside of Christ would be sorrowful, it would be ridiculous.
To define this in words is difficult because in some form that would be bringing a conclusion to Christ and I have hardly stepped into a beginning with Him.
I can reflect on the critical times in my spiritual journey when God has come to me with an invitation that was rather pronounced but even though it was direct the defining fulfillment was left open with an understanding that I would have to step towards the invitation and each step would bring formation to what I heard.
For instance I was told that I was given the gift that John had to lay upon the heart of Jesus. When this happened I wept but I wept in a sober way. I knew this was a treasure but also a fearful thing. I do not know how to explain it outside of that. I knew I had no idea what I was being given. I did ask, Lord why do I know this is not a light or trite thing I am being given? His answer was, it is not, it will cost you but it will be worth it.
I will say this, I am crushed at times because I have not taken this potential of what I was given in this gift and treasured it as I should have. With no excuse, I would say that circumstance, disappointments and upheavals that have been traumatic to some degree have buried me in distractions. It was not introspection but a waste in wondering about the value of who I was on this earth. You see the gift I was given exceeded the value we give life in the here and now.
Yet even in my failure I can see an extraordinary mercy, a great grace that has allowed every misstep to extract the vile and grant to me asylum within the love of God. I then live in a strange exile of life I am not of this world yet I remain that I might reflect the essence of Christ. Should He remain such a mystery within, yes and no.
If we place a label on who we are, especially concerning our relationship to Jesus Christ we are restricted more then we would ever think. We are confined by our definition and therefore our creative empowering to live by following Christ in all things is limited by us. We are thus defined because we have asked others to see us in a particular venue or characteristic and here again we are confined. We are confined in how we might relate to others and then we possibly deny life to others and it is denied to us. So to draw this down, let us be defined by living in the presence of the Lord not a ministry definition or banner. Life will change it may be uncomfortable but that is because we are drawn to what made us comfortable about Christ not Him in particular. Life characterizes us in categories and we are compelled to extract how we relate to God not by God defining us but how a particular aspect of life might find a place for the life of Christ to stand up. where will He find a place to lay His head?
What will heal us of the splintered existence we have adapted to? Jesus calls us from an existence that rejects Him and we are hesitant to leave all to follow. It seems that to much of life is spent revealing what we refuse to leave behind.
So again I ask, what will heal us of the splintered existence we have adapted to? It is not men who live with Jesus as the external definement of life alone. It is Jesus. I have no doubt that Jesus is waiting for so many of those He has called out to to be dependent upon Him not in the words that flow with poetic license but a weakness that cannot succeed and no longer has a will to. There is a breathe that comes forth in these and it utters Jesus. Thus we can be men who are defined, but by an internal existence in Christ, perhaps we can as we live through Christ dwelling extend the presence of God.
The delicate balance is knowing how to live in a defining faith as we serve the love of Christ to one another. A service that is tarnished and quite frankly rejected because we are so fearful of loving because the membrane of our hearts are thin in sorrows or distractions.
I was thinking in an observatory way how we are often told to fight for our prophetic words and how some do to the point of living and concluding so much within this sphere. And then I thought...really? I was narrowed down to this, Jesus. Jesus is the fulfillment of any word, seriously it should have begun with Him and it will end in Him. Therefore, should anyone be determining life through the models of the prophetic we have created? I think not. We should be drawn into the circumference of Christ. Simplistic, perhaps to for some. But I see so many being strangled by the teachings that spin this, if the word is God it will be, timing perhaps, but I also observe that the characteristics of the majority of words held to are formed out of a western mindset that propagates that God longs to lavish His children with plenty...yes and the plenty is Christ. No narrow the focus it is Christ. Dwell here.
Even our fight to be healed can remove us from the nature of dwelling in the presence of the Lord. That need, very legitimate, can consume us and even those that might seek to comfort us can press us with good intention to press into our healing. I have no conclusion as to why some are healed and some are not. I though can say that I have entered into a holy place on occasion when I have gone to visit some one who is sick and they have stepped away from the need to be healed and into Christ. This is a place that exceeds our earthly need and extends into heaven. Some might say bring heaven to earth and I offer that perhaps our healing can be within a physical manifestation but there is a vail that can be lifted and it offers something more.
I would be shallow to seek to explain what I am offering to us with absolute application to life day to day. I do not think many have entered into this place. I can see it faintly. It is not common to us. I think we must ask that we be prepared and there is no step by step teaching. It is simply seek to fix our eyes on Jesus and ask that we be given the faith to trust when He says follow Me.
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